We’re not adopting through an agency. Here is why and what that means exactly!

This is my precious friend Jessica and her daughter Ella Jane. Aren’t they the cutest?! 

I read somewhere that only 2-4% of Americans adopt which means the adoption process is not common knowledge to most of us, including myself until the past couple months. I have been fortunate to know several friends that have adopted domestically and internationally and they have been such great resources while navigating these unknown waters. I keep getting a lot of questions about our adoption process so I thought I’d share with you the current path we are on.

First of all, we decided not to use an agency. This is not “the norm” when it comes to adopting, but after talking with a friend, my husband and I felt like that was the best route for us at this time. We hired an independent social worker to do our home study and will be moving forward on our own. We agreed that we would reassess in the future and potentially sign an agency then.

Here are some reasons people choose not to use an agency:

*These are based off of my experience and the input from some other domestic adoptive parents that chose this route.

1. Taking Control – by doing this you’re putting it into your own hands and not into the hands of an agency to find your birth mother/parents/child
2. Uncomfortable with Agencies Practices – there are great and not-so-great agencies and I heard from several ladies on my adoption facebook group that they chose this route due to them not feeling comfortable using any of the agencies they looked into.
3. Price – Sometimes it can be cheaper to not use an agency. As Kristen from a facebook group put it “I was not satisfied that the majority of the funds spent would be agency fees vs birth mother support”
4. Location – If you live in a rural area, there may not be an agency nearby willing to drive for the home visit, etc.
5. Contract – Another reason is that you sign a contract with your chosen agency. It’s similar to buying a house, if you hire a realtor and then a friend decides they want to buy your house, you still have to pay your realtor because you’re under contract. Most adoptive parents don’t want to pay an agency for work that they do not do if they were to network to find their own birth family.  

So, I’m sure you are thinking… what does that mean we are doing exactly?

Well – that is a good question! Most families that choose not to use an agency majorly rely on WORD OF MOUTH! That means telling everyone you know or come in contact with that you are hoping to adopt and asking them to keep their eyes and ears out. This is why I have asked all of you to be our eyes and ears all over the US. This also can include spreading the word by telling local doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers, principals, police officers etc. We are hoping that anyone that hears of a potential adoptive situation will think of you and contact us right away to connect us with the appropriate person/people.

Another way these families find their future children is through online adoption profiles. You create a profile about you and your family in hopes that a birthmother or parents will connect with your profile and ultimately choose you to raise their child.

It is also very common these days to use blogs, craigslist and facebook pages to promote your family is hoping to adopt. People use facebook ads, google ads, etc. to try to expan that word of mouth reach and pray that someone in a potential adoption situation sees it.

As for us, we’re currently just doing the first one, spreading the word while we wait on our completed home study report! We do have a specific avenue that we’re very optimistic about that is through a lawyer my friend used but that’s all I’m going to share about it today! As promised we will keep you updated with information as we go! We are getting started on the nursery which is a very exciting step for us after years of waiting!

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