Things I Love Thursday – The 5 Love Languages Book
Today’s “Things I love Thursday” may be something you have heard of or read already. My aunt told me about this book several years ago before I met my husband. I knew it sounded helpful but I don’t think it really clicked how important this knowledge would be for our marriage. The book is The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary D. Chapman. If you haven’t read it….seriously, go out and buy this one TODAY, it is worth it. If you are in a relationship, engaged, married for 1 month or married for 20 years, this book is worth your time!
In the 5 Love Languages book, Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
It was crucial for our marriage to identify my love language as well as Bryant’s. It’s common to think love is easy and why do you need a quiz to tell you how you want to be loved but I found this so helpful to better understand myself and my husband. Chances are that your love language is not the same as your significant other and that can cause unnecessary stress in the marriage/relationship if you don’t identify these differences. It’s normal to have different love languages but you need to be aware of them so you can love your significant other the way they want to be loved. I personally feel most loved when Bryant gives me hugs or holds my hand or helps around the house (Physical touch and Acts of Service) but he feels most loved when I make time for him and tell him how I feel about him and how proud I am of how hard he works (Quality Time and Words of Affirmation).
Just last month my co-worker started telling me how this book has improved their marriage. They’ve been married around 22 years and had run into some tough times in their marriage. He told me that after reading this book it opened his eyes and he realized he’d been loving his wife with his love language all these years and never understood why her “love cup wasn’t full”. He spent years thinking he could love her to death with Physical Touch (his love language) but that wasn’t her love language and he never understood that until now. His wife’s love language is Acts of Service and she feels the most love when he does small things like taking out the trash and making the bed. By knowing that about each other they can both make an effort to love each other the way they want to be loved. A simple holding of his hand is enough to make him feel loved and something small like sweeping the floor is all she wants and needs to feel loved. You can see how this may change your focus on how you show love to each other.
Like I said, this is worth the read! It’s a short book and you won’t regret it! I’d love to hear if this is something you’ve read before and found helpful or if you read it and it changes how you show love to your significant other!