“There was a Part of Me that was Dreading Marriage”

I’m going to be completely honest, as I always am, there was a part of me that was dreading marriage. Yep, I said it. (queue shocked/appalled face). But let me explain…

You typically hear two things from other newly weds: 1. It’s magic and rainbows (my interpretation – which I never believed for a second) OR 2. It’s HARD, it’s all about compromise, etc. (definitely believable, we’ve all had roommates and know the challenges that come along with that)

My friends will confirm that I had said this a couple times prior to the wedding and I think they were all a little worried about our marriage. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Bryant and wasn’t confident he was the one or not looking forward to spending our lives together, it was the anticipation of the challenges of living with someone else and sharing your money with someone else. Bryant had lived alone for 8 or 9 years and I had lived a lone for several years, so I knew this was going to be an adjustment for both of us. I can be a little OCD at times about how the house is kept and already was feeling apprehensive about moving into HIS house. I was fully prepared for lots of arguments and compromises which led to that feeling of dread and thoughts like “lets just get past this first year”.

Anyone that has recently gotten married knows about the one question you always hear, “Well, how is married life”? My answer is always the same, “Better than I expected”

You can imagine the looks I get when I respond this way. Why can’t I just say “wonderful” like normal people do? Who knows! I’m not a pessimist, I’m just a realist. I wanted to fully prepare myself for that tough first year of fighting over money, dirty dishes, clothes on the floor, sharing one TV, etc. but to my surprise, it was so easy and so much fun! Marriage really is much better than I ever expected. Sure, there are times when he aggravates me over things he does (or doesn’t do) and I’m sure I aggravate him too but overall I’m living with my best friend so what’s not to love?

Our church recently had a message about relationships and marriages which is great, because that’s very relevant to us as we’re starting off year 2 of marriage. One thing the pastor said on Sunday about him and his wife is that they are complete opposites in almost every way but they are still better together. I loved that! Bryant and I differ in a lot of ways. He is the saver, I’m the spender. He is always thinking long term and I’m thinking short term. He is more introverted and I’m more extroverted. It’s sometimes a challenge for us to find TV shows, movies and music that we both will enjoy. But all of that aside, we are definitely better together. I’m thankful for our differences and appreciate that he brings a different perspective to the table. Lord help us if we were both exactly alike.

So if you are about to get married, I’ll be the realist to tell you that it’s not always fun and there will be heated discussions and disagreements but for the most part, it’s awesome! I love that I get to see Bryant all the time without having to plan to get together. I look forward to telling him all my random thoughts and ideas throughout the day when we get home. I love enjoying being together even if it’s just watching movies or tv shows. I love that I can sit and craft and even if we’re not talking, he is there! I love when we cook together (which is rare but occasionally happens), I love marriage because Bryant is always there! I guess this means that one of my main love languages is probably quality time!